Sweet, fucking baby Jesus. This is truly the dumbest timeline.

The Deep Ones gleefully rubbing their hands

Swaggart “Can I roll to convince the sex workers to leave me alone?”

GM “Sure.”

Swaggart rolls a nat 20

Swaggart “Oh no, it looks like I rolled a nat 1. Looks like I have to sleep with the sex workers, again.”

Come on Zuckerberg, if you sink abother $14 billion it might just pay off.

The Oligopoly “We’re going to use this government money to fund share buy backs and to fatten our pockets.”

Build fiber to rural areas so they won’t need Starlink

Canadian Government “Sorry, the best I can do is get three companies that are an oligopoly to one day, maybe, fix this.”

Standing in a middle of a torrential downpour, completely soaked, getting sick, and tired.
Hails a cab
Sees that it is a cybertruck
“I would prefer to die right now then get into one”
Stops hailing for a cab

I was wondering when ol’ Trumpy would start talking about making Canada, a “state”.

Centrists won’t address the actual issues that cause fascism to fester. Instead centrists will pivot right to out right the fascists.

Psh, tell that to this totally legimate source claiming that nuclear winter and global warming will cancel each other out it.

Source

I for one am hoping that we do get a nuclear winter. Great way to balance out global warming.

The problem isn’t Trump, it’s his followers. One of those followers will think it’s a good idea to invade Canada.

We have to see if the witches float!

Before we rush to judgment about witches. We really should test them to make sure that they are witches.

So we should thank TERFs for having a trans women Pope? Watching TERFs meltdown over these would be hilarious.

Many people are asking “Did JD Vance have a hand in the Pope’s death?”

To a fascist, image is everything. Ruin their image for the sad, fucking weirdos that they are makes fascists weak.

Who knew Teslsas would set on fire in hot temperatures.

Ol’ smrty Musky won’t be blamed for the tragic accident. It would be some helpless fall person or Las Vegas.

Smrty Musky can’t be blamed for this.

A charged Li-Ion battery aflame is no joke, as we saw when it was the Galaxy Note 7. It’s a major concern for EVs catching fire in tunnels, parking garages, and ferries. They are SUPER HARD to extinguish- legacy techniques don’t really work.

Thank god, ol’ smarty Musky built a tunnel with no safety features for all those Teslas.